Modesty Suits

Stumbled upon a REAL bizarre concept of swim wear today. I have to give the primary credit to my girl Sarah Morrison (http://thesarahmorrison.com/). Upon following her twitter, I saw her RT one of her followers great discoveries. Feast your eyes on the Modesty Suit, by Simply Modest. This is a line of swim wear that is seemingly run by Christians or another super religious group. I am not bashing peoples religious beliefs by any means but I AM bashing this aqua-rific monstrosity. There are SO many funny things I can say about these bathing SUITS (it is basically an actual business professional suit). Let's dig in, shall we?

First and foremost, Lycra is NEVER a flattering material on the human body. I like leggings, and a SOME Lycra in moderation but we're talking sleeves and all here. I mean Lycra covering every part of your body besides ankles/feet/hands. It is basically second skin. Explain to me how modest you can really be when you get a cold gust of wind stepping out of the pool and two diamonds are prime and ready to carve proverbs in glass. Conveniently enough, there are no photographs on their website of overweight people wearing the suits. Probably because the visual alone could send anyone to a Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome rehabilitation center.

Why is there a dress over the leggings? Are these people afraid of the camel-toe? Hmm...now that I think of it, I'm glad they made the dress cover the tang.

Here is a dilemma: what if someone is a legitimate swimmer and has to wear a Modesty Suit? The aerodynamics (or aquadynamics?) have clearly not been taken into account for anyone who may be trying to swim faster than a quadriplegic (sorry). I'm pretty sure there is at least a 27% chance of self-strangulation. Come to think of it, could these double as a straight-jacket?

www.modestswimwearsolutions.com